Sunday, March 9, 2014

Close Call Blog Tour/ Review

Close Call Blog Tour Stop & Review






  "What is your Vajay Jay saying to you?"

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Books & Chocolates Review:

Close call was truly an interesting and funny read. Jemma is trying to find Mr. Right, and looking in some of the wrong places, such as night clubs, but Jemma's little pocket book, Doris has other plans. I think so many of us women can relate to trying to find the right one to settle down with and have allowed our own Doris to be let down and disappointed.
Imagining that my vajay jay could truly communicate with me, would probably scare me a little bit.  Doris, is very sensible and intelligent. Close call is a very light and humorous read. Vagina's and Penises being able to communicate about things such as waxing and the last person you slept with. I could not have imagined that I would have ever come across a book about a Vagina and Penises calling the shots. For those who are worried that this may be a graphic and erotic read, its not, but be prepared to laugh and ask your Vajay jay some serious questions...KMSL! If my down under friend had of come to my rescue, I may have made some better choices in life.
"What are you waiting for, go and get this book and read it. I gave this book *****5 chocolate stars. I was given this book for a honest review...It was truly my pleasure to have taken part in this tour and review.
Eloise March you really nailed this short read......

Viva la Vadgeventures!

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Close Call: A Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure

Close-Call-3D-450Close Call is the first instalment of "A Doris & Jemma Vageventure" series.
Think Bridget Jones Diary and The Vagina Monologues.
Twenty-two-year-old Jemma can’t seem to get her life in order. Her track record with men stinks, she constantly worries about getting fat and ending up a spinster at thirty. And to top it off, she has to be a bridesmaid at her most-hated cousin’s wedding. She feels like her life is over, until Doris decides to help out. Who’s Doris? Doris is Jemma’s vagina and she thinks more of Jemma than her own brain does. Doris is on a mission to save Jemma from herself, but is the task too much for one vagina to handle?
TAGS: Fiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Women's Lit, Romance
© 2013 Dionne Lister Cover by Sol Pandiella-McLeod
Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, Kobo, iTunes, and Sony.






Excerpt from Close Call.

Jemma left the bathroom and walked out into the main bar. Flicking her dark hair over her shoulder with one hand, she approached her friend, Erin. “Any action?” she asked.
Erin, giant silver-loop earrings peeking through her wavy auburn locks and weighing her lobes down, sipped her chocolate cocktail through a straw. “Hmm, there’s a couple of hotties over there. The blonde one’s been checking me out. What do you think?”
Jemma spotted the two twenty-somethings. “Nice. His friend is built, and you know I prefer brunettes.” The girls giggled.
Doris braced herself when they started walking. She was sick of Jemma picking up guys in bars; well, she hadn’t picked up a lot, but the five in the last six months were all losers — the kinds of guys who had their fun then never called again. What made Jemma think these guys would be any different? And Doris wasn’t fooled into thinking Jemma didn’t care; she had to listen to her swearing and crying to her friends when the guys never called back. The things vaginas had to put up with, and there was no escape!
So many times, Doris had information, after talking to the penises of these one-night stands, that Jemma could have used to make more informed decisions. Penises, Doris found, were way more honest than their owners . . . well, mostly.
“So, lovely ladies, can we buy you a drink?”
Doris cringed and heard giggling again, and then Erin spoke, “Yes, but only if you tell us your names.”
“I’m Paul, and this is Aaron.”
Jemma and Erin said, in unison, “Hi,” then turned to each other, said, “Jinx!” and laughed.
Jemma nodded once and mouthed to Erin, “Matching polo shirts.”
Erin grinned in approval.
Aaron spoke to Jemma, “What would you like to drink?”
“I’ll have a gin and tonic, thanks.”
Aaron winked at her, pulling out his wallet. Jemma noticed the fifty-dollar bills peeking over the edge.
“Coming right up, beautiful.”
Jemma melted inside, sending a rush of heat to Doris, who sighed. Here we go, she thought.
Erin’s vagina, Prudence, whispered, “Psst, Doris.”
“What is it?” asked Doris.
“I think we’ll be leaving with this one — I’m getting wet. They must look attractive, because I haven’t heard anything special come out of their mouths.”
 “I know you can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes. When will these girls ever learn?”
“I don’t know,” said Prudence. “Men think with their penises, but women can’t hear us.” She sighed. “Oh, dear, Erin is swaying. I think she’s had too much to drink. I’ll say bye now ‘cause we’ll be out of here soon. Good luck.”
“Thanks, Prue. Might see you tomorrow after the girls get dumped.”
“Yeah, more than likely. Okay, bye.”










Meet Eloise March aka Eloise March

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Eloise March is a woman who laughs at her own jokes, swears way too much and breaks any new diet by lunchtime on the day she starts. She believes in women’s equality, and all equality for that matter, and hopes the things she writes touch people in a positive way, and make them think about how they can create a better society for themselves and others.
In her spare time, she enjoys living as her alter ego, Dionne Lister — a suspense and YA fantasy author who is way too embarrassed to talk about vaginas. She likes spending time as Dionne because Dionne has an awesome family, wonderful friends and a cat called Lily, oh, and she has great hair.
If you’re looking for Eloise, or any information about future books in the Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure series, you can visit Dionne’s website, where Eloise has been lucky enough to get her own page http://www.dionnelisterwriter.com. If you’re looking for a chat, you can find Ms. March on Twitter.

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Website

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Follow the Tour

Monday - 3/3/2014:
Tuesday - 3/4/2014
Wednesday - 3/5/2014
Thursday - 3/6/2014
Friday - 3/7/2014
Saturday - 3/8/2014
Monday - 3/10/2014
Tuesday - 3/11/2014
Wednesday - 3/12/2014
Thursday - 3/13/2014

Final Day of the Tour - Saturday March 14th

Interview with The Cabin Goddess

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2 comments:

Kriss Morton said...

GREAT review! haha your "down under" friend! I LOVE IT (pssssst the author is an Aussie so it makes it even MORE FUNNY!!) Gorgeous post!

Dionne said...

Chemistry, thank you so much for your awesome review! I'm so excited my book is on your blog today. And Kriss is right, I'm from Down Under so your phrase is perfect. I think I'll use it in marketing LOL :).