"What is your Vajay Jay saying to you?"
Books & Chocolates Review:
Close call was truly an interesting and funny read. Jemma is trying to find Mr. Right, and looking in some of the wrong places, such as night clubs, but Jemma's little pocket book, Doris has other plans. I think so many of us women can relate to trying to find the right one to settle down with and have allowed our own Doris to be let down and disappointed.
Imagining that my vajay jay could truly communicate with me, would probably scare me a little bit. Doris, is very sensible and intelligent. Close call is a very light and humorous read. Vagina's and Penises being able to communicate about things such as waxing and the last person you slept with. I could not have imagined that I would have ever come across a book about a Vagina and Penises calling the shots. For those who are worried that this may be a graphic and erotic read, its not, but be prepared to laugh and ask your Vajay jay some serious questions...KMSL! If my down under friend had of come to my rescue, I may have made some better choices in life.
"What are you waiting for, go and get this book and read it. I gave this book *****5 chocolate stars. I was given this book for a honest review...It was truly my pleasure to have taken part in this tour and review.
Eloise March you really nailed this short read......
Imagining that my vajay jay could truly communicate with me, would probably scare me a little bit. Doris, is very sensible and intelligent. Close call is a very light and humorous read. Vagina's and Penises being able to communicate about things such as waxing and the last person you slept with. I could not have imagined that I would have ever come across a book about a Vagina and Penises calling the shots. For those who are worried that this may be a graphic and erotic read, its not, but be prepared to laugh and ask your Vajay jay some serious questions...KMSL! If my down under friend had of come to my rescue, I may have made some better choices in life.
"What are you waiting for, go and get this book and read it. I gave this book *****5 chocolate stars. I was given this book for a honest review...It was truly my pleasure to have taken part in this tour and review.
Eloise March you really nailed this short read......
Viva la Vadgeventures!
Close Call: A Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure
Close Call is the first instalment of "A Doris & Jemma Vageventure" series.Think Bridget Jones Diary and The Vagina Monologues.Twenty-two-year-old Jemma can’t seem to get her life in order. Her track record with men stinks, she constantly worries about getting fat and ending up a spinster at thirty. And to top it off, she has to be a bridesmaid at her most-hated cousin’s wedding. She feels like her life is over, until Doris decides to help out. Who’s Doris? Doris is Jemma’s vagina and she thinks more of Jemma than her own brain does. Doris is on a mission to save Jemma from herself, but is the task too much for one vagina to handle?TAGS: Fiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Women's Lit, Romance© 2013 Dionne Lister Cover by Sol Pandiella-McLeod
Excerpt from Close Call.
Jemma left the bathroom and walked
out into the main bar. Flicking her dark hair over her shoulder with one hand,
she approached her friend, Erin. “Any action?” she asked.
Jemma spotted the two
twenty-somethings. “Nice. His friend is built, and you know I prefer
brunettes.” The girls giggled.
So many times, Doris
had information, after talking to the penises of these one-night stands, that
Jemma could have used to make more informed decisions. Penises, Doris found, were way more honest than their owners . . .
well, mostly.
“So, lovely ladies, can we buy you
a drink?”
Doris cringed and heard giggling
again, and then Erin spoke, “Yes, but only if
you tell us your names.”
“I’m Paul, and this is Aaron.”
Jemma and Erin said, in unison,
“Hi,” then turned to each other, said, “Jinx!” and laughed.
Jemma nodded once and mouthed to Erin , “Matching polo shirts.”
Aaron spoke to Jemma, “What would
you like to drink?”
“I’ll have a gin and tonic,
thanks.”
Aaron winked at her, pulling out
his wallet. Jemma noticed the fifty-dollar bills peeking over the edge.
“Coming right up, beautiful.”
Jemma melted inside, sending a rush
of heat to Doris, who sighed. Here we go,
she thought.
Erin’s vagina, Prudence, whispered,
“Psst, Doris .”
“What is it?” asked Doris .
“I think we’ll be leaving with this
one — I’m getting wet. They must look attractive, because I haven’t heard
anything special come out of their mouths.”
“I know you can’t see me, but I’m rolling my
eyes. When will these girls ever learn?”
“I don’t know,” said Prudence. “Men
think with their penises, but women can’t hear us.” She sighed. “Oh, dear, Erin is swaying. I think she’s had too much to drink.
I’ll say bye now ‘cause we’ll be out of here soon. Good luck.”
“Thanks, Prue. Might see you
tomorrow after the girls get dumped.”
“Yeah, more than likely. Okay,
bye.”
Meet Eloise March aka Eloise March
Eloise March is a woman who laughs at her own jokes, swears way too much and breaks any new diet by lunchtime on the day she starts. She believes in women’s equality, and all equality for that matter, and hopes the things she writes touch people in a positive way, and make them think about how they can create a better society for themselves and others.In her spare time, she enjoys living as her alter ego, Dionne Lister — a suspense and YA fantasy author who is way too embarrassed to talk about vaginas. She likes spending time as Dionne because Dionne has an awesome family, wonderful friends and a cat called Lily, oh, and she has great hair.
If you’re looking for Eloise, or any information about future books in the Doris & Jemma Vadgeventure series, you can visit Dionne’s website, where Eloise has been lucky enough to get her own page http://www.dionnelisterwriter.com. If you’re looking for a chat, you can find Ms. March on Twitter.
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Follow the Tour
Monday - 3/3/2014:- Random Reviews by Leanne Review
- The Sinner Author Review
- Literary Chanteuse - Ask Doris - Dating Advice
- Photography, Poetry and Indie Authors - Ask Doris & Review
- Lady Reader's Bookstuff - Close Call Playlist
- Like a Bump on a Blog - Ask Doris & Review
- Pinky's Favorite Reads - Ask Doris & Review
- Ramen Noodle Book Reviews - Ask Doris & Review
- Our Wolves Den - Ask Doris – Why Doris?
- A Day in Doha - Review
- Books & Chocolates - Review
- A Book Addict's Delight - Ask Doris - Dating Advice
- J E Haldeman - Ask Doris - Dating Advice
- Jess Resides Here - Review
- Indie Authors You Want to Read - Ask Doris - Dating Advice
- Our New Generation for Reading - 3/12/2014
- WS Momma Readers Nook - Ask Doris & Top 10 Favorite Books
- Bestsellerbound.com - Tell Us One Thing
Final Day of the Tour - Saturday March 14th
Interview with The Cabin Goddess
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GREAT review! haha your "down under" friend! I LOVE IT (pssssst the author is an Aussie so it makes it even MORE FUNNY!!) Gorgeous post!
ReplyDeleteChemistry, thank you so much for your awesome review! I'm so excited my book is on your blog today. And Kriss is right, I'm from Down Under so your phrase is perfect. I think I'll use it in marketing LOL :).
ReplyDelete